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J

I'd go like: "Just dinner, no romance, OK? Don't expect me to jump on you!"

Yes, I 'think' I'm good at it, but maybe I'm such a horrible one.

04

06

23:09

Aya

> I'd go like: "Just dinner, no romance, OK? Don't expect me to jump on you!
I'm seriously afraid that this remark will make her more carried away, J. I like it a lot. It's so YOU.

> Yes, I 'think' I'm good at it, but maybe I'm such a horrible one.
Business situations aside, in terms of relationships, a horrible one is much better than a sugar-coated, fangless one. I view it as an act of "charity". You know what I mean ;-)

04

06

23:25

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04

05

コメント

A good refuser

Are you good at refusing requests, offers, or invitations from someone you know? I have to admit that I'm a poor refuser. I'm neither a person of goodwill nor of generosity. I simply hesitate to face the possible risk of offending people to whom I'll have to say "No". Refusal is, in general, regarded as a face-threatening act that requires deliberate presentation in an attempt to maintain good interpersonal relationship. Well, why I bring up this rather awkward topic here is that I wrote a research paper on the effectiveness of teaching written refusals, saying "No" via e-mails or letters during spring semester 2010 at grad school. To my great honor, my paper "Effectiveness of a short-term pragmatics-focused lesson for written refusal to Japanese adult learners" has been published as one of the papers contributed to a grad school journal titled "Developing Learner Pragmatic Competence Through Instructional Intervention". Sounds too cool, huh?

One of the eye-opening facts that I discovered in the course of research and paper-writing was that native speakers of English tend to elaborate much more carefully on their refusals than I expected, especially in case of the ones to someone in higher status and in equal status. They usually adopt several different kinds of refusal strategies to avoid the risk of offending people and to maintain their faces. It's pretty much like what we do in Japanese, don't you think so? I'd like to share those refusal strategies with you, hoping it might be of any help to your strategic refusals in both in Japanese and in English.

1. Opening by thanking
e.g.) Thank you for the invite/ your inquiry/ your interest.
2. Wish
e.g.) I wish I could go…/ I would like to go sometime soon…
3. Statement of regret
e.g.) Unfortunately…/ Regrettably…/ Too bad…
4. Giving a reason and/or explanation
e.g.) I already told that I will be home tonight. / The information has not been finalized
5. Statement of alternatives
e.g.) Can we go later this week? / It will be available in the very near future.
6. Adjuncts to refusals
6-1. Agreement before rejection
e.g.) That’s ideal but…/ That sounds good, but…
6-2. Statement of empathy
e.g.) I realize you are in a difficult situation. / I understand that you are interested in the details.
6-3. Apology
e.g.) My sincere apology for any inconvenience this may cause.
*7. Ending by thanking or well-wishing
e.g.) Thank you again for your interest/ Hope you have a good party.

Reference: Beebe, L.M., Takahashi, T., & Uliss-Weltz, R. (1990). Pragmatic transfer in ESL refusals. In R. Scarcella, E. Anderson, & S. D. Krashen (Eds.), Developing communicative competence in a second language (pp.55-73). Boston, MA: Heinle & Heinle Publishers.
(Except *)

Okay, here's the deal. Imagine the situation where you’d like to refuse a dinner invitation from one of your colleagues who's interested in going personal with you. You don't want to build a personal relationship at all, but make each other good co-workers just the way you two have been. What would you construct your written refusal as diplomatically as possible? Think about it.


Well, this is an example of how NOT to refuse, probably, but I'd go like:

Hi, ***. Thanks for the invite (1). I wish I could go (2), but too bad (3), I have a sales report due tomorrow morning (4). I've been pretty tied up these days (4), sorry (6). Thanks for asking and have a good day (7)!

Please note that there are no “Statement of alternatives (5)”. You see what I mean. Reminder. I have no one particular in mind.......Correction. I can come up with exceptional few if forced!

thanks-but-no-thanks.jpg
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J

I'd go like: "Just dinner, no romance, OK? Don't expect me to jump on you!"

Yes, I 'think' I'm good at it, but maybe I'm such a horrible one.

04

06

23:09

Aya

> I'd go like: "Just dinner, no romance, OK? Don't expect me to jump on you!
I'm seriously afraid that this remark will make her more carried away, J. I like it a lot. It's so YOU.

> Yes, I 'think' I'm good at it, but maybe I'm such a horrible one.
Business situations aside, in terms of relationships, a horrible one is much better than a sugar-coated, fangless one. I view it as an act of "charity". You know what I mean ;-)

04

06

23:25

管理者にだけ表示を許可する

この記事のトラックバックURL

http://ayay515.blog111.fc2.com/tb.php/69-1d840b0b

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Aya

Author:Aya
English learner

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上記広告は1ヶ月以上更新のないブログに表示されています。新しい記事を書くことで広告を消せます。