This is NOT what I'm supposed to be doing.

This is NOT what I'm supposed to be doing at this right moment. I've long had this bad habit, since the age of... I forgot.

It's a big shame that I've long lost time, energy, and motivation to write English pieces here. Someone said that once you've had an "outlet" to express and distribute your thoughts you'll no longer feel like writing for your private blog. That must've been the case with me, or that must've made me think that way. Anyway, it really is a big, big shame not to write for my own learning.

Well, writing about those random thoughts doesn't do any good to my English. I know that quite well. I used to QUICK WRITE almost every day for almost two years. Back then, I had a dire need of developing the habit of writing something in English, so QUICK WRITE worked well. After two years, I started to think otherwise, and quit writing as much as I can in 20-30 minutes randomly. In fact, I didn't enjoy writing for the last several months before I finally stopped QWing. It was like a chore I'd never be able to skip. That said, whether I enjoyed QWing or not was not important to me because I believe that learning should not always be fun and exciting. Why I decided to quit QWing was that it no longer seemed to do any good to my English AT THAT POINT.

For more than a year, I've been writing manuscripts every day for commercial publication, which I truly appreciate and feel grateful for, but at the same time, I definitely feel something inside me wears down, dries up, or is consumed. This may sound exaggerated, but I always exaggerate things, so please bear it with me.

I don't know. I just feel like writing for pleasure without any limitation, obligation, and deadlines. It's so lame that I've totally opted it out for such a long time; a place to write anything anytime in any ways.




English learner


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