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A List of Edited DT Reviews 20130112

A few hours ago, I happened to find a list of recently edited Must-Read Dokkai reviews; DT4 REVIEWS -- EDITED

It's very kind and convenient for readers, new and old, who are to have an overview of which review is edited, and which is not. What a reader/learner friendly reviewer.

In his, quote, "slightly to moderately edited" page-102 review, the phrase "Our shipment" is discussed, which reads very interesting to me. My guess is that if you read the phrase "Our shipment" alone without any context, most of you will consider that Our, i.e. We is the subject of the action "ship" (= send, transport, or deliver). In other words, you will infer that "We" ship something. Here, however, "Our" represents the receiver of the shipment, not the sender.

A suggestion from the reviewer is to replace Our with The. I agree that "The June 22 shipment will be the last." are less confusing to readers in terms of who sends to whom. If you want to keep the noun "shipment", I believe it's the best option. For other possibilities, if you want to keep the pronoun "Our", what would be the revision? What I've come up with after thorough deliberation and contemplation of 90 seconds is the following:

Our [eatery/restaurant] will receive your [final/last] [shipment/delivery] on June 22.

Unfortunately, the above revision has completely lost its original vibe of "Our June 22 ***". It'd be so much better to say "We will receive your final/last..." to begin with. Moreover, the two pronouns "Our" and "your" in a sentence sound a little stiff and awkward to my ear.


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Aya

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上記広告は1ヶ月以上更新のないブログに表示されています。新しい記事を書くことで広告を消せます。