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QW 091612 “Apex of your aspirations”

There has been a change in the tutors’ cancellation ratio system of the online English school I’ve been enrolled since last December. As a tutor who let me know about the news told me, I thought this change could’ve made my former pronunciation teacher consider resuming teaching at the school, so I contacted him to ask if he already knew about this new regulation. He responded to me a couple of hours later, and said he has no intention to go back to the school anytime soon. I kind of knew he was going to say so. Probably I just wanted to make sure he’d never come back to school. It could be like deep down I may have wished he wouldn’t come back although I cannot explain what made me think so.

In his e-mail he goes; Having taught you for that short time span convinces me that you already have what it takes to reach the apex of your aspirations when it comes to the English language. It's just a matter of honing what you have now.

Besides noticing the phrase “reach the apex of your aspirations” was new and sounded cool to me, I realized, once again after all those years, that I’m The One who teaches me, and someone else cannot be The One. I won’t negate the fact that I felt a bit like as if I were left alone, unattended, and deserted (hyperbole), being told by the former teacher that I’d need to brush up on what I have now on my own. It was obvious that his words should be taken as the acknowledgement for I have achieved and as the encouragement for my further learning. But it leaves me a sense of wistfulness. I guess most of you are no stranger to such sentiment.

How many more times should I realize that I have to be “the” teacher for myself? How can it be possible for me to become “the” good/better/best teacher for myself? What is this “honing what you have now” anyway? What do I have to begin with? What is the apex of my aspirations in terms of English learning like? Well, those questions are the ones I’ll keep pondering on and asking to myself as long as my English learning life goes on. Yeah, my English learning life goes on and on and on.

(50 minutes / 395 words)

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Aya

Author:Aya
English learner

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